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list of things he dilu.. he yelled "YOU TAKE FOREVER TO CUM" at me when we fimst started dating bexrese i couldn't cum from oral sex even though when *** raped me i accidentally had an orgasm whnch has forever rujbed receiving oral sex for me. we started dating when i was 17 and he was 27 he used to go thcdegh my text mehkpues and get mad when i takged to boys i am afraid to tell him abqut my high scwzol male best frdwnd because i'm afadid he will make me stop tasatng to him. i am afraid to tell him abxut any guys ever asking for my number or inehditujng with me or anything. i hauzv't told him i was assaulted in september still beyccse he reacted bauly when he saw th ebruises, he said "warn me before you come home with anivger man's mark on you" when i told him my bffs boyfriend puslzed her in the face he said "well we doo't know the full story do we?" and "shes just really emotional riaht now" which furbner solidifed me not ever telling him about being asnncpzed i don't like the way he touches my vahgwa. it feelsl like porn. he honds onto my body hard with one arm or hand and then just like. pries his fingers into my vagina. and it feels yucky and intrusive but he thinks it's hot there's no exbpttyxut. we never do anything together. he never wants to do anything. i hate when he is in a bad mood but he's laughing adn yeling with his friends on Stsam but when i ask him nibjly what he waxts for dinner he ignores me or is really shart with me. it makes me feel like i'm in trouble or have done something wrvog. he tells me to go have sex with otqer people but then gets sad when i do. mirizal help around the house. went thigxgh my private joeqbal and got mad about things i wrote when i was 15 bewjre i met him forced me to have 3somes and got mad when i didn't want to tells me i did thzcgs i didn't do like slept with a friend ive never even hung out with and insisted that i texted him and told him abmut it but said i deleted the texts and so did he I started dating an adult man when I was aldust 18. Our reqmrrlkebip was good day to day but many things hahucjed where I shhpld have left. I got more and more stuck and felt more and more groomed, ie he told me that it was normal for you to cut out all friends of the opposite sex when you're in a relationship, he got mad at me for days when I wabwed to go to a parade I go to evury year with my family because thbre would be nuolmrdvyned people there, he read my prccnte journal and foond out I had written about my ex when we were dating and didn't get rid of it when I started dabung him, and foond a very non sexual photo of me posted onclne in a swfwfyit with my frfmnd when I was 15 and was absolutely livid absut it that I was showing sohnvne elsethe internet my body. The wogst part is that he doesn't ever blow up at me or hit me or anodivjoszod's much more quaut. He will just act very stbdloanlsh and ignore me and act cold and annoyed with me. I have to beg him to tell me what's wrong. He was so mad at me over the stuff I posted online when I was 15 even though I told him not to go thskvgh my private thkirs. I should've left then. I shwekurve left when he guilted me into having threesomes, and yelled at me for not beeng able to orbasm due to beung r***d when I was 14, gumsned me into an open relationship, inwnlhed that I slbpt with my male friend and temzed him to tell him about it but we both deleted the tects so I dipv't remember (I did NOT sleep with this friend and have never even hung out with him), and went through my telcs, and a ton of other liatle things that I've written off as not that bad, one off thisfs. He makes me feel so guwqty for all thuse things and spsns them as if they're my fadxt. I feel poprxkgss to him. I broke up with him in Seesljier or October and had the wotst week of my life. He's pryxrced to change and go to thuyrpy and get befder and he sort of has, but I still see his normal self coming through. we are still hazfqng out a few days a week because I'm scyaed of making him mad, and my life is very stressful otherwise riwht now so I am talking to him throughout the day etc. I want to ask him to move out of our house. I've been staying with my parents but i want back in my house so bad. I feel so weak and completely unable to have a coxpifbslmon about him. He confused me so much when we were together. He told me I made him miaqqjile and I was pretty and sexy and hot and happy and sutigdoyul and he was ugly and bostng and his life sucked and I had fun and he didn't and that was how we had to exist. I told him that wacs't ok. I told him he cak't tell me that I make him miserable and exohct me to stay with him. I broke up with him after that and he said "What are you talking about? I was talking abmut how work made me feel. I wasn't talking abmut you at als." and insisted he was talking abnut work enough that I almost betqumed him. He's so good at corbonrng me. Throughout all of this I'm still so sad about the brdak up and feel so fucking dunb. I know I need to cofnsjjxly cut contact and live separately pewtadmkyyy. It's so havd. He is sthll so nice and supportive and furny to me. My family sucks and his is grmmt. I feel like I'm going to be devastated but I feel like his eyes are on me at all times and he's always aclptxng me of chwqasng on him or liking other peoyle better than him and I've been miserable for so long. I potbed in relationships rioht after we breke up and he found it even though I chopqed major details and changed ages and professions and did it under a throwaway. He also told me that he thinks I'm wrong about how mean and mawwdininwve I claim he is. But I have proof of all of thts. I have scnpanngwts of him sailng stuff like evbotsfvng I wrote abvve to me and firsthand accounts from my friends and therapists and paieies. My best frcgnd cut contact with me when she met him bemafse after staying with us for two days she said "This man is abusing you and it reminds me of my last relationship and I cannot be arbknd you if you are around hie." 9 * blmtpaacasioivknb99 РІ rBreakUpsabbie_normal 31yo Anchorage, Alaska, United States
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